Posted by rebecca
Yeah, yeah, I"m late in posting this (don"t even get started on the comics--perceptive readers will notice that we haven"t even published an SMX recap yet, let alone a collection of images and goofy speech bubbles). Please remember that Rand doesn"t pay me solely to author kooky, off-topic stuff for our blog. (Shh, don"t tell anyone. I don"t want people to know I actually work.) For now I"ll leave you with a superset collection of quotes from SMX and SES Toronto that I was miraculously able to remember.Quotes from SMX Advanced:
1. (when comparing the ability to find parking in Seattle compared to other major cities)
"Yes, in New York you can"t park wit-in several feet of tee red fountains. It is very annoying."--Guillaume Bouchard
(...the table is confused)
"Red fountains?"--me
"Yes, tee red fountains."--Guillaume
"...do you mean...fire hydrants?"--Neil Patel
"Yes, tee red hydrants!"--Guillaume (language barriers are so adorable)
2. "I hate squishing spiders! Cameron only uses one tissue when he smooshes them. That"s not cool--you have to use like ten or eleven!"--a very manly Neil Patel talking about proper spider removal etiquette
3. "I"m playing with Matt Cutts? I better not tell him who I work for!"--Rich Devine, who, until recently, worked for Microsoft, after he found out that he and Matt would be pool partners against me and Cameron Olthuis
4. "I thought the Space Needle was going to be this huge building downtown, but it"s a teeny little bitch!"--a disappointed Chris Hooley
5. "Tell Matt I"m mad at him! He said that strip clubs in Seattle close at 4:00 am, and they really close at 2:30!"--Neil Patel
6. "Hi Tim, I"m Rebecca. I don"t think we"ve officially met."--me introducing myself to Tim Mayer from Yahoo!
"Actually, we have."--Tim Mayer
"Really?"--me
"Yes...I sat next to you on the bus to the Vintage Tub dinner in New York."--Tim
"Oh...oops."--me
7. "I never smile in photos...British teeth."-- an apologetic Ciarán Norris after I pointed out that he"s not smiling in any of the photos I took of him (for the record, he has a nice smile)
8. "Can you take a photo of me? The thing is, I have a camera but I accidentally left it and I want to get a picture of me and everyone here and...I"m really drunk."--Patrick Sexton
9. "Did you see Burt Reynolds over there?"--several SEOs pointing out Cameron Olthuis"s new "stache.
Quotes from SES Toronto:
1. "American porn is so bad! There"s no plot!"--Agustín Vazquez-Levi
"I know, it"s like "Hey, niiiiice shoes!""--Eric Amzallag
"Yes, it is like "I do not have money to pay for this...""--Francis Vallieres (there are little things funnier than listening to two French Canadians and an Argentinian complain about American porn)
2. "Ugh, you"re making me walk soooo far."--Neil Patel, after I dragged him to the CN Tower with me.
"Neil, it"s right behind the conference center!"--me
3. "Excellent job, Rebecca...and thank you for the muffins."--Andrew Goodman, after I mentioned in my presentation that a sports forum was surprised how a girl (me) wrote something funny, and I said that when I"m not popping out kids and baking muffins, I am actually capable of being witty.
4. "Squeeze in, everybody! It"s roomy!"--Ken Jurina, urging about 40 SEOs to squeeze into two SUV limos. (It wasn"t roomy, but it was still fun.)
5. "You think Agustín is chatty?! I have to share an office with him! He never shuts up!"--an exasperated Naoise Osborne
6. I get into a cab to ride from the airport to the hotel, and I notice a funky smell. As if on cue:
"Do you like the smell?"--my cab driver
"Um...it"s...interesting. What is it?"--me
"It"s jackfruit! Do you like fruit?"--cabbie
"...yes?"--me
"Good! Not many Americans like fruit!"--cabbie (I"m not sure where he"s pulling this data). "Fruit is very good for you! It has vitamin D, which is good for your skin, and it prevents breast cancer in women and testral cancer in men!" (yes, he said "testral" cancer)
"...yeah..."--me
After I get to the hotel:
"Here, take some fruit!"--cabbie
"Oh, no, I can"t."--me
"No, no! Take it! Take it! Eat it!"--cabbie (He hands me four rambutan, which look like intergalactic testicles. By the way, my coworkers and I looked up the fruit online later and found out that the seed in the middle is poisonous. Thanks for telling me, cabbie!)
"Um, thanks..."--me, awkwardly trying to palm a handful of fruit, pay him, and grab my suitcase at the same time
Those are the gems I can remember. As always, share your favorites in the comments below--just don"t badger me about the SMX article (we"re working on it!) or about the comics (grrrrrrr)...
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>>Source Link
>>Blog: SEOmoz Daily SEO Blog
>>Publish Date: 6/20/2007 11:07:00 AM
>>Keywords: quot yes
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